I dont know
The rational part of my brain tells me that this is exactly what both of us needed. It was evident even last night, the pressure on both of us to make the other happy is ridiculous. I'm pretty certain that the pressure isn't coming from the other partner but ourselves. That isn't healthy for our sanity or the relationship.
Seeing rachael happy would be the best thing possible, losing her from life completely would be the worst. If friends is what is takes to ge the happiness that was there when i met her than that is what i can give her. I can't really imagine a life without her, and when i think about it, it gets upsetting.
The irrational part is the one that is hardest to deal with
It's very difficult to keep my love for her hidden, last nigth was a perfect example. Standing in the kitchen, both of us with our arms crossed because we were fighting the urge to touch or hold the other.
The simplest thing that would make me so happy would be to hold her hand.
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